Sunday, March 30, 2008

I read a story till 3plus am last night.
In the story it said, "Tell me, two hours ago, who were you thinking of?”
--answer--
“Who are you thinking of now?”
--answers the same person--
“And if you’re still thinking of him two hours later, you’re in love. Gwan, love is a simple thing. It’s either you love, or you don’t. You can try everything, almost everything to prevent yourself from loving, but it all boils down to this: Either you love, or you don’t.”

Sometimes its so simple. You know it, but you just wouldn't admit it.
Been acting alittle strange lately. Its just 'friends' but i find myself waiting for her to initate conversation. She did it at times. Ever since the time she said,"can you text me to see if i'm up tomorrow for work?".. i gave in. After much resisitance she hid on my arms cause she was scared in the movie, while i jumped in shock. She didn't lay long but she did lay. I really had fun that day, though really tired. I miss your smile. I miss your attention. I miss how easily one short sms from you, that you initate would make me jump up and down.. Your kinda hot and cold attitude. When will it be hot again?.. another few yrs??. Its 8yrs since i know you. We've always been hot and cold. hot and cold. Never lasted.

I'm acting all so strange lately.. I thought we are friends. I want to keep it that way. I'm sad. I can't take hurt again and i'm afraid. I wish its simple. I wished i never think so much.

I wished i never told you to take my hand but yet i wish you do it again.
Everytime we came across some related topics, we would quickly push it away saying, "your my friend not my girlfriend/boyfriend.. etc, so it ok blah blah don't get the wrong idea", but down inside i wish i hadn't say it, i wished you didn't mean it. I usually kept quiet and agree with you on that. Its better anyway.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

watch this.
damn accurate his shot. i wonder how far was the distance..




Scout sniper school.
First training shot they did. 300m survilliance/shot.. 2 teams coordinationg shot.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

If you really want to know what we do, this is it..
Glady present to you..



Stop the bloody stupid songs and see it. Its what we actually do, compare to the old traditional conventional snipers.

Coz we are moving urban.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sunday, March 23, 2008

=D just finish eating red star's dim sum. So full la!!!~

i woke up at 11+, went down chinatown myself and bought miss tan's dim sum. I bought some stuff that my mum wanted too. I da bao so many dim sum, only $40. So full so full. Miss tan was at town shopping with her sis. Her sis went yoga so i accopany her walk around till 3+ then i came back home.

Hope she's happy now. She was craving for dim sum badly. Although i da bao, its not hot already but i guess its at least something. Well i'm happy too. I didn't mind travelling down and i'm super happy i found that place. I nearly got lost but hey.. sniper's common sense of navigation never fails man. If me a map, i'll bring u any where ha. There's not special reason. I just wanted to go out and do something. Just wanted to go out alone..

Walk by some places, got memory of ruishan. Hmm.. Those sweet times. Sigh. Lost already.. Someone who buttons up my shirt. Sweet sweet memories. The self created poems. Hunny bunnies.. :'( till now, still asking why it turned out this way.

Whats the point of asking if your really happy the way it is now? How life is, the people around you are..? Whats most important is that you live on, enjoy life. Make do with whats around. Am i wrong?.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Very quiet evening today. Suppose to be out to have dim sum at red star with miss tan today but she felt too lazy to travel after stepping out of the house. So we ended up having blunch (bfast & lunch) at Lot1's Ajisen. After that we went for some gorcery shopping at NTUC.

I felt like cooking recently, invited miss tan over when im done preparing the dishes.

Its not the same, being around shan and miss tan. Guess i shouldn't compare.

Shan keep appearing offline on msn. So hard to talk to her. She asked if i was pissed that day when i saw her mum. I wonder why she suddenly ask it. Is she reading my blog?..

Hmm.. tired.. lana's pissed with me. well.. coz she's worried i make the same mistake again by getting close to miss tan.

Was so bored.. miss tan working and i don't want to always bother her. I tried calling ching ting. I miss her man. Dumb mousy always argue with me. End up calling ros, she's busy watching tv. Nothing much that i want to say to her too. Just wanted to disturb a familiar voice.. Wanted to call shan but seeing that things are the same anymore, i ended up not calling. I'm tired and i'm bored to death. Slowly rotting life away.

Waiting for SIM's aerospace open house. Waiting for them to send me the details too. I have the registeration form with me but theres so many other things i want to ask.. Yuan zhen's working as a SIA's air steward now. =) well.. no much comments. Everybody live different lives, different aims. I just wonder where's mine. In my life, i've regretted 4 things, not to mention those that i don't have a choice, like for example being born GOLDEN SPOON-NED. ha

well the 4 are,
1) having able to go JC but didn't.
2) having able to get my pilot licence but i dropped out myself.
3) hmm.. i shall not say. It's something to do with some one, letting someone go and all. There's not need to guess who. You all sure get mixed up.
4) not having a more 'fun' life during younger times. getting laid and all. so much exploring. so much fun.. so much wrong things to do.

Aren't you sick of always doing whats right? Loosen up abit people. There's more to enjoy. More to come. Or cum? ha. U figure it out.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The day i booked in, i went down town to meet miss tan. She didn't go work that day cause she had diarrea, but she was at town for yoga ha. Oh well she was alone and i had nothing to do so i went down to meet her. She sat at borders reading magazines and books, waiting like 1+ hrs for me ha. Never expect that. We ate and walk around, she had to wait till 6+ to meet another guy friend and then go for dance lessons after that. I'm glad i went down for you. Else i can't imagine you walking around yourself aimlessly for like 6-7 hrs.

Well.. deployment.. Ming wei and me met the bravo team. They black listed us so we are kinda like having a war with them now. We basically went out every hr for rounds. Even the 2 hr rounds, we went out on the dot, came back on the dot. By 5+am, the only rest time we had, we knocked out for like 30-40mins max, and we'll be out again. That bloody ass police came in, with that attitude i cant accept. I know we are partly wrong but don't just blame it on us. The system works that way, we are taught that way. Normally people change shift, they don't go on rounds. YOU, BRAVO (YEAH BRAVO MY ASS, SHOULD HAVE USE BOOBY OR BITCHES INSTEAD), work the other way, is YoUr BlOoDy ProBleM. I don't see use wrong in going for our dinner, the only wrong i see is that we didn't leave you our number thus leaving us uncontactable. Well fine, we'll learn that from now on. I just don't like it that your shouting at me saying, "You think i'm joking with you isit?"
Well FUCK YOU. I'm not laughing. Don't you just hate it when they look at you with that 'who the fuck does SAF think they are attitude'? My god, you never been through army you don't know shit. What ever your PA(police academy) training, nothing compared. I don't look at you like you belong to shit, so don't look at me like i belong you. You want to sign on police, you get fucked, your problem man. Hands off. Don't drag me along with you. I just can't wait to pull out of the sick airport knowing i'm working with shit people like you. Anyway come on, what the heck is a sniper doing there anywhere? People see us, "oh, police/ army guys." Fuck you. I'm a sniper and i have pride being one. Test my stalking, i'm gonna shoot you one down by another. Rather than lodging report and writing paper work. *PUI* You've never gone through sweat, you've never been in the dark under the stars and moon light. You've never felt more cramp up in a small around that you can't even move your legs. You've never seen bigger ants. You've never seen spiders bigger than your feet. You've never so much things.. Its an experience.. All i'm asking is that you don't lose your temper before i do. IT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING. FANCY YOURSELF A POLICE OFFICER. pls. ACT LIKE ONE. I'm not throwing ranks here. Your just a sign on, coporal. To me, its good enough a joke. So don't make another. Thank You.

Oh well =) forget it already. Me and mingwei are forever prepare to go war with Team Bravo anytime. I don't believe our fitness will lose yours. Anyway going dim sum with miss tan tomorrow morning. She's damn funny la..

"sat got flea market at town, are you working? want to go together?"

"*talk about something else*"

"*replies that something else*.. eh so sat? i don't want to disturb you with your girls already."

Takes some time to reply..... ....

"Sat wad time are you free?"

lol.. ha. I'm like huh? I'm the one asking her if she's free to go flea market with me. Now she's asking me if i'm free.. Ha. I was like thinking she's half asleep la...

"i no plans :) wad abt you?"

"go eat dim sum ;-)"

"yes miss tan :) anything you say ha.?"

I don't know if you think its funny but i thought it is haha.. cause she made me happy that night. Just like that. I was like wondering, your girlfriends are with you now, you could have ask them and honestly speaking, we've been out together alot lately. I see you like 3 times a week ha. I'm running abit low on cash because the driving test is really nearly but its ok. =D anyway i had funny dreams about her ha. I dreamt she smoked but she doesn't. She don't like smoking, can't stand smoke. ha. I don't like smoking, can't really stand it either. Tend to avoid it as much as possible. Don't want to die early. I don't know what she's doing now, probably up i guess ha. Later part of the day then text her. So tired, i'm heading to sleep soon. 11.10am. I hate bravo. I still got driving at 6pm later. I miss my family. I havn't see my grandma, grandpa and aunties/uncles in awhile. I don't miss my cousins. When ever i see them, the topic about academic comes up. So i don't like to see them.

SIM has this new aerospace course. I think i'm going for it. Be it full time or part. See how it goes..

Shan hasn't.. hmm.. well i texted her. Things are still the same, unlike before, just so hard to talk to her. Don't know why. She drop me a testi saying her mum told her she saw me. Why would you mum talk about me anyway?... Did she see me with miss tan? or did she just randomly bring it up?.. Shan still dare to ask what happened the other time, am i angry or something.. She still doesn't know. How it is, people who know you, people who you thought are close with, walk by you, not saying hi, just plain ignoring you, treating you as if your not there? That kind of pain. Sorry if you want to say i'm petty, i am. There are some stuff that i remember. Remember clearly. The exact same words that some one says or do that hurted me. Some thing i once learn before. Its a sentence that i hope my friends will learn too..

"You can forgive but you can never forget."

Some girl by the name zhijun once told me. Which i think is quite true. The hurt, is just so hard to walk by.. I hope shan doesn't read my blog, so many stuff i don't want her to know, life isn't as simple after she left. When she was there, it was really just about her but she didn't understand. Now, I'm just preoccupied with myself and other friends. Sometimes i ask myself, what isit that i really want. I want to know what's on her mind. Does she still care? is she bothered to even care that i have a blog and read it? but some part just tells me i should just let it go..

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

isolation time is here.
i'm anti social.. bye bye people..
till some time later.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sunday, March 16, 2008

See i bought miss tan this..
"1st airport in asia to bring in Victoria Secrets Fragrance"
Bought her the gift pack. Quite cheap only. =D lesser then 50bucks ha. They have pink and purple. Pink smell too strong. Too sweet. This one more mild..






Saw this at Taka's WATSONS.. wanted to buy chingting. Coz she's my mousy! ha. Im the elephant. Sadly. Hey dumb dumb.. dinner when? ha



Ming Wei slacking with the PSP.



Hmm quite a number of stuff happened. I had a funny dream about miss tan today. There's alot of numbers, statistics, and miss tan was like smsing some stuff like i kinda bother her alot and she doesn't like it. She's asking me to stop or else.. blah blah. I dreamt that i was replying her saying im sorry and man i woke up. I woke up and my phone wasn't on my hands. There wasn't any sms-es and i text miss tan and told her about it. She said im funny, told me not to be crazy ha. Well at least it just a dream. She doesn't find me annoying. Ha. Me and miss tan we had PIZZA HUT on sat. Both of us we order a Personal Pan Pizza (super supreme). Next time order hawaiian liao. She don't eat the green green thing only i got eat. =) ha. We order another Chicken SPAG. I eat alot la, she also never eat much. The spag she eat like 3-4 spoons and the pizza she eat 1/4 of it only =( end up i one person swallow all. ARGH! MIss tan!!.. Tmr meeting you clementi botak jones for dinner. YOU bettER EAt MOrE!~

Hmm.. well i waited 35mins for bus 67 today. Nothing unsual.

Shan is back. She texted me. And she asked how i am doing with ros. Funny question. I don't understand why she brought ros up. Anyway.. i told her ros and me are just friends. Its not possible and she said smthing like ros like me for so long already and all.. she says maybe it takes time. Well i totally got pissed off i shot her back saying, "Not now. Not ever. Not possible. I'm stubborn." well. yeah. I'm just still very hurt. I told ching ting about it and guess what she said?

"Hmm.. girls can be a bitch at time. They may want to drop you close. She just wanted to know you are still here. Don fall for it. Not worth."

I've got friends who cheer me up. Even miss tan tried being funny for once ha. =D made me smile.

Maybe because i still have feeling for her. I feel so sad and hurt still. Just thinking about what we went through. I can't forget. Even when everybody isn't standing up for you, i myself felt that i should. Like i once know you before. That's not the way you are, thats not what you are trying to do, that's not whats on your mind. I keep defending for you.. but at times, i don't even know if i'm right, i don't even know if i still know who you are. So i told myself, i can't be still falling for you. Yes my emotions are partically controlled by you but you were gone, i'm fine, i lived with it. So tell me, people ask if i still like you, i say, "how can i?". I don't even dare admit because the things i've done, doesn't prove so. So ask me again if i still want you back, or any hope of it?

My answer to it is,
I would rather have some ting i can rely on. Some thing that has been always around. My friends for example. Some thing that is hard and i know i wouldn't fall again. I'm just scared to give everything to some one again.
I'm nice to people around me because i want them to be nice to me. I miss people around me coz i wished they miss me too. I cared for people around me, if they've eaten. If they had a bad day.. just coz i wish they cared for me too. Whatever i did, i just wish sm1 would give me back the same. That's all.

Is it too much to ask for?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Saturday, March 15, 2008

if you can learn to grind like he do. i guess.. i own just about any girl u see in the club. Ladies wud love you man.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I just simply hate it.
When you ask some one to call u back and that person doesn't.
Damnit.
Even if your busy,
Even if you fell asleep.
Have the tendency to tell the other pissed off fucker
Whose waiting for your call
What happened?
And even if YOU mother fucker don't feel sorry at all..
Please for the sake of saying it.
"Sorry"

I'm.. sorry for the use of vulgar. Putting strong words to my comment thats all. Just pissed. It's not the first time people is doing that to me. Obviously your not the first. I hate it and i really really mean i HATE it.
Cos you know why?.. It just proves to me that you don't even care. Even as a friend. Honestly speaking, i don't have a lot of friends and i don't intend to make alot. I don't want to keep myself busy entertaining too many people. I happy with the friends i've got and i intend to make "good" friendship out of it.
But from the way i see it, if i can care as much. WHY CAN'T YOU? It's not fair and if i have more friends, damnit. You yourself counted it that day. 8yrs. 8yrs of friends, ex, girlfriend, neighbourhood friend, sec sch friend, i don't know what else we are. 8yrs but honestly we aren't close at all. I'm trying.. so just tell me what's wrong..

I don't know.. i think i care too much. This shouldn't have been an issue. I like you but i don't think we suit. Seriously. No wonder we never work out. We went gym. We went running. I cancel my other plans just to meet you for meals. Picked a weekend to share it with you. Shared the umbrella. Bought cookies for you. Bought you a necklace. Sometimes its real nice. Sometimes its bad. This bad. You bought me a Polo T and you told me the color suits me, which to me, means you especially picked it what. Your nice.. AND YOUR BAD. Like what the fuck right ladies and gentleman. WOMAN!.. SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND.

I know..
That day you say i do this do that, you didn't ask for me to do it.
Yes i know..
BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE SO EVIL TO ME!.

And damnit shan isn't back yet. She come back i also don't know what to do. Will she look for me anot, that's like a question with answers nobody will know unless your living in her brain. She look for me also wouldn't be the same anymore. I don't think i can talk as much to her already. No click. Feelings are fine when i don't see her. It's always different when she's next to me.. At least that time with her i know we can communicate. I don't have to try to entertain. It comes naturally.


AND FUCK YOU SNIPERS. LOOK AT THE BLOODY BUNK.
ITS A MESS.
MESS!!!..
FUCKING HELL. YOU ALL GO OUT FIELD COME BACK WHY DON'T CLEAR YOUR BAGS?
DROP EVERYTHING ONE CORNER.
NOW THE NEW SNIPERS GOING FOR COURSE, TOOK OUR BAG WITH THEM..
AND EMPTIED WHAT EVER THAT IS INSIDE.
AND GUESS WAD?
-PEOPLE'S PACK 1 (CLOTHES, UNDERWEAR, SOCKS, UNIFORM, ETC)
-GROUND SHEET (DAMN MUDDY ONE)
-ET STICK
-COURSE MATERIALS (WOOD STICK. HAND BOOK. RUBBISH PIECES OF PAPER)
-CB STILL GOT WET TISSUE WHICH I BET ITS NOT EVEN WET ANYMORE
DAMN PISSED OFF.
I'M ALREADY NOT SLEEPING ON MY OWN BED. WHY?
-PEOPLE ALWAYS SIT/LIE ON MY BED SURF NET.
-SMOKE AT MY AREA.
-NEVER CLOSE THE WINDOW AND RAIN GETS IN, WET THE BED SHEETS.
-CHARGE HP/IPOD/PSP
-BOIL WATER, COOK.. ALL AT MY AREA.
DOESN MEAN THE MINI HIGH 5 UNDER MY BED MEANS YOU ALL CAN DO SHIT THERE OK.
AND WHO EVER OPEN MY LOCKER, PLEASE FUCKING ASK FIRST.
AT LEAST BOTHER TO SMS AND LET ME KNOW, ITS NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO LEND YOU WHAT EVER YOU MAY WANT.
I DON'T MIND.
BUT YOU ALL FAGGOTS, OPEN LIAO NEVER LOCK THE CUPBOARD BACK.
TOO BAD ANYWAY I CHANGE LOCK LIAO. I INTEND TO FUCK YOU ALL UPSIDE DOWN NOW.

I'M TOO NICE ALREADY.
AND HONESTLY THE BUNK ISN'T WELCOMING ANYMORE.
I'M RELUNCTANT TO BOOK IN.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Thursday, March 6, 2008

As promised.. the photos..


His apple pie and mine Mr Bean's pancake.


I got myself a Choco Mint Spin while he got a Cookie spin. His one tasted better.










Well have fun at "SPINELLI" people.
The 'spin' drinks is ice blended with coffee.
The 'twist' drinks is ice blended without coffee. Just for your info.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Im currently watching this now.. its called
"Queen of the game"



The song if you want to download, is call "midnight blue" - E.L.O

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Zhijun is back from bangkok yesterday. I met her for lunch this afternoon after i finish my driving. She bought me a polo T. (thanks!!, so glad that your back)

Got some new photos, just some random photos that me n mw took while we were having Spinelli
coffee at 2plus am in the morning.

I saw ruishan's mum today while waiting for zhijun. We merely stared at each other. Spoils my mood. I've never had so much gurdge with some one's mum before. The sight of her mum pissed me off and i don't know why. Maybe ever since that day, that day when they saw me and act like they didn't. How nice.. walk pass knowing i'm there but ignoring that fact. Oh well.. I told zhijun about it.

Its just a tell zhijun everything day today. We know each other so long but we always seems to avoid certain topics. Always hiding some thing. She to me, me to her. ha..

i'll upload the photo later. till then than.

take care. Cheers

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Went to Vivo.. had carls junior. Ros's first time ha. We shared a combo meal.
Hmm people i'm starting to eat my normal meals already so there's no need for the worry already ok? No one cared but i'm just saying this for the sake of saying it. =)
Anyway we went to bugis. I bought a new watch. Wanted to buy cardigen. Wanted to buy tshirt. So many stuff i'm tempted to buy. Man i'm going there again soon.
haha!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Watched "No Reservations" on my psp lately. Fell in love with that show. Not only does it have one of my favourites, Cathertine Zeta Jones, the story line is pretty good. Love that show. You all should watch it too okay.
I gave it a 5/5 show. =P

Saturday, March 01, 2008