Thursday, March 20, 2008

The day i booked in, i went down town to meet miss tan. She didn't go work that day cause she had diarrea, but she was at town for yoga ha. Oh well she was alone and i had nothing to do so i went down to meet her. She sat at borders reading magazines and books, waiting like 1+ hrs for me ha. Never expect that. We ate and walk around, she had to wait till 6+ to meet another guy friend and then go for dance lessons after that. I'm glad i went down for you. Else i can't imagine you walking around yourself aimlessly for like 6-7 hrs.

Well.. deployment.. Ming wei and me met the bravo team. They black listed us so we are kinda like having a war with them now. We basically went out every hr for rounds. Even the 2 hr rounds, we went out on the dot, came back on the dot. By 5+am, the only rest time we had, we knocked out for like 30-40mins max, and we'll be out again. That bloody ass police came in, with that attitude i cant accept. I know we are partly wrong but don't just blame it on us. The system works that way, we are taught that way. Normally people change shift, they don't go on rounds. YOU, BRAVO (YEAH BRAVO MY ASS, SHOULD HAVE USE BOOBY OR BITCHES INSTEAD), work the other way, is YoUr BlOoDy ProBleM. I don't see use wrong in going for our dinner, the only wrong i see is that we didn't leave you our number thus leaving us uncontactable. Well fine, we'll learn that from now on. I just don't like it that your shouting at me saying, "You think i'm joking with you isit?"
Well FUCK YOU. I'm not laughing. Don't you just hate it when they look at you with that 'who the fuck does SAF think they are attitude'? My god, you never been through army you don't know shit. What ever your PA(police academy) training, nothing compared. I don't look at you like you belong to shit, so don't look at me like i belong you. You want to sign on police, you get fucked, your problem man. Hands off. Don't drag me along with you. I just can't wait to pull out of the sick airport knowing i'm working with shit people like you. Anyway come on, what the heck is a sniper doing there anywhere? People see us, "oh, police/ army guys." Fuck you. I'm a sniper and i have pride being one. Test my stalking, i'm gonna shoot you one down by another. Rather than lodging report and writing paper work. *PUI* You've never gone through sweat, you've never been in the dark under the stars and moon light. You've never felt more cramp up in a small around that you can't even move your legs. You've never seen bigger ants. You've never seen spiders bigger than your feet. You've never so much things.. Its an experience.. All i'm asking is that you don't lose your temper before i do. IT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING. FANCY YOURSELF A POLICE OFFICER. pls. ACT LIKE ONE. I'm not throwing ranks here. Your just a sign on, coporal. To me, its good enough a joke. So don't make another. Thank You.

Oh well =) forget it already. Me and mingwei are forever prepare to go war with Team Bravo anytime. I don't believe our fitness will lose yours. Anyway going dim sum with miss tan tomorrow morning. She's damn funny la..

"sat got flea market at town, are you working? want to go together?"

"*talk about something else*"

"*replies that something else*.. eh so sat? i don't want to disturb you with your girls already."

Takes some time to reply..... ....

"Sat wad time are you free?"

lol.. ha. I'm like huh? I'm the one asking her if she's free to go flea market with me. Now she's asking me if i'm free.. Ha. I was like thinking she's half asleep la...

"i no plans :) wad abt you?"

"go eat dim sum ;-)"

"yes miss tan :) anything you say ha.?"

I don't know if you think its funny but i thought it is haha.. cause she made me happy that night. Just like that. I was like wondering, your girlfriends are with you now, you could have ask them and honestly speaking, we've been out together alot lately. I see you like 3 times a week ha. I'm running abit low on cash because the driving test is really nearly but its ok. =D anyway i had funny dreams about her ha. I dreamt she smoked but she doesn't. She don't like smoking, can't stand smoke. ha. I don't like smoking, can't really stand it either. Tend to avoid it as much as possible. Don't want to die early. I don't know what she's doing now, probably up i guess ha. Later part of the day then text her. So tired, i'm heading to sleep soon. 11.10am. I hate bravo. I still got driving at 6pm later. I miss my family. I havn't see my grandma, grandpa and aunties/uncles in awhile. I don't miss my cousins. When ever i see them, the topic about academic comes up. So i don't like to see them.

SIM has this new aerospace course. I think i'm going for it. Be it full time or part. See how it goes..

Shan hasn't.. hmm.. well i texted her. Things are still the same, unlike before, just so hard to talk to her. Don't know why. She drop me a testi saying her mum told her she saw me. Why would you mum talk about me anyway?... Did she see me with miss tan? or did she just randomly bring it up?.. Shan still dare to ask what happened the other time, am i angry or something.. She still doesn't know. How it is, people who know you, people who you thought are close with, walk by you, not saying hi, just plain ignoring you, treating you as if your not there? That kind of pain. Sorry if you want to say i'm petty, i am. There are some stuff that i remember. Remember clearly. The exact same words that some one says or do that hurted me. Some thing i once learn before. Its a sentence that i hope my friends will learn too..

"You can forgive but you can never forget."

Some girl by the name zhijun once told me. Which i think is quite true. The hurt, is just so hard to walk by.. I hope shan doesn't read my blog, so many stuff i don't want her to know, life isn't as simple after she left. When she was there, it was really just about her but she didn't understand. Now, I'm just preoccupied with myself and other friends. Sometimes i ask myself, what isit that i really want. I want to know what's on her mind. Does she still care? is she bothered to even care that i have a blog and read it? but some part just tells me i should just let it go..

Thursday, March 20, 2008