Thursday, May 29, 2008

Few days back had this sms conversation with zhijun. She ask why am i treating her like a girlfriend. Not knowing how to reply, i kinda joked replyin if she wants to be my girlfriend then? I said it jokingly but honestly part of that sentence i meant was real. oh well.. got rejected. She said 'no'. Maybe she felt i wasn sincere. Maybe she's jus blantantly rejecting me whether im serious or not. I don't know. I didn't ask too.. Lots of stuff i never ask. Like if she likes me and all.. The last time we ever talk about something like that or close to that, we came out with the conclusion that we both aren't ready for one and that we don't want one. I, wanted to be financially stable before having one, partly too scared of losing too. She, her reason, im not too sure. I don't know why suddenly im like rushing. Possessive. Yah probably. I don't want to share her with some one else. She ask if once why i feel so insecure. How not to? She just my friend still not girlfriend yet. Gonna return her her photo in my wallet. It felt like im asking for it. Like im digging my own grave. I will finish her present. Its half done. I went SIM to help her submit her photo and i check out my course. Jan intake. Registration will start at august. So yeah.. It wud be nice to focus on smthing else. Start spending my $$ on myself. Get my own clothes instead of hoping some one buying them for me knowing i like them. Ha. I don't have a gf. I wouldn't pretend i have one anymore. It will just be me, myself and I.
I don't know. Don't really want to care. If its mine, its mine. Waiting for her sms. Sigh. Hot and cold. Hot and cold.. =P Hands off now.



Have been texting/chatting with shan alot. More than i do with zhijun. Zhijun's busy with work we hardly text. Mostly before work and after work. Shan and her frens are kinda like against me being with jun coz well.. they dnwan me to be spending on her and all.. blah blah. yah.. i yeah.. thanks people. sorry i disappointed you all and yes i understand you all meant well. I'm fine. =D silly, stupid, blur, dumb, yah. only meant to be sweet but turning out otherwise. So ok. yes.. I will control k. Oh i met up with shan for supper. She walked me home. Thanks ^^ lucky you never get trap in the lift ha. My lift not like urs. Urs can see outside. Mine just shuts you in ha.

Many people are not around in camp. Went for a hour run along timah. Yesterday(wed).. me, andrew, joseph, clement and feng nan. We run out of camp oh.. some one caught us. The WO Thong, he ask us why we wearing PT kit and going out of camp so i say we go for run. Then he say what happens if something happens to us outside, and i said its ok. I stressed-- "WE ARE ALL SPECS(specialist)." and he kinda shut up. He said he's just asking, not saying that we cant or what. He ask us our running routes and even suggested that we run by the canal. Oh well fk, we didn't ha. I lead the run. Brought them left to SIM, down to NP, left to the first SHELL stop, down the prata shop, left to the furniture shops, down to ESSO, down pass SHELL, left again pass the botanic garden, left again pass the pri sch, down to the CC, down to timah market, right back to the first SHELL stop. Down to KAP mac. Where we sat down. Wipe the sweat of our faces. Lay our handphones on the table. and Me, andrew and clement went on running again. Fengnan and joseph left sitting/guarding our stuff at KAP Mac. So yeah we continue.. but this time other direction. We went down pass the condo, all the way down.. pass those shop houses. I bring them pass the NISSAN car house. Down abit more to OLD HOLLAND ROAD and U turned back. I wasn tired at all that day. We ran for 1hr plus and i keep running. Andrew was catching up with me on the return route and i jus kept running. I kept hearing his footsteps behind me and i fasten my pace. Till i threw him all the way back and i came back to KAP myself ha. Sat down and sweated like a dog. It keep dripping and dripping. Havn felt so good for a long time. Feels like ur crying but not from your eyes. Wanted to go run tonight but cudn. Promised madm i wudn.

Anyway fengnan is really too much. The whole platoon is boycotting him now.. and after hearing what he did today, that was my last straw i've given him. Where got people like that say bad about his own platoon to other people. Basic common sense. 12o'clock, 11.45, 11.30 fk man nobody wans to go jurong island, we are all forced to. Being a typical human being, which would one choose to take? of coz the 12o'clock one la.. anyway we were down at 11.45 the stores are even finish loading yet. We come down so early oso no use. We didn't take our own sweet time. Don't tell people from other platoon bad about urs. U are a sniper urself. If its me, i either say "i dunno, they shud be coming down now. wait awhile." i don go saying,"i already told them 11.30, they must be taking their own sweet time, dilly dally." Fk u. U were nice to cover my duty once and seeing that you've got your points when talking to the platoon that day i talk to u still. Seeing that everyone went for nights out and left u back alone in back. I asked if u were hungry, i can help ask the rest dabao for u. but fk.. don act like a good boy. We goin ord soon. We don need a good boy to come set some new rules to make life difficult. We obviously don need you to come spoil the market..

So much abt him.. so much happening in camp. so many people missing. Leave, off, missing in action without reason.. sigh. not much people i can talk to too. all on long leave. not around. Will blog again. meanwhile.. pictures!! ^^

Our 'Supposingly' Sentosa Trip. --- A failure. ha
Hey minchell =) there. Your boyfriend. tryin to act cute haha!





Our dinner. Joseph // Teck Hong's Chicken Rice $3.50. My Bak Ku Teh $4.50 (tmd). Clement's.. er i forgot wad again. Laksa i think. Cant rem. Malcolm not eating. He and his fking diet plans. Cannot let him lighter den me.



There th go again!



Malcolm







CBK!



Lucas's favourite stall. Guess where??







While waiting for her to change =) i took some my own ha!



bunk's view of nee an poly.



Guess who's that hottie!



Some random shy cat. yah shy my ass. Look at its teeth and nails. Damn sharp.



That's lewis. I respect him. A crazy guy. Serious when he wants to be. A fk up ps(platoon sergeant) and we love him.



That's mw. Hannah's lazy boyfriend as you can see haha.



And well.. shirt's a lil wet coz of the rain.

Thursday, May 29, 2008