Tuesday, September 16, 2008

See hair getting longer. I still don't know if i intend to cut. Dilemma. I want to but i'm not sure if i should just trim or cut short. Hmm...

Today is the second day since i started work. There's this course that is compulsory to attend and i was nominated to go. Dates were 15 and 16. 9-12am. I went for monday one but i didn't attend the one today. The HR department called me at 8.40 today asking me to attend another orientation briefing so i went for that till 9.40 slack around cause 10.30 i need to go see the IT guy to do something about my computer, internet and internal email etc. I've got 5 accounts 5 passwords. What you derive from it? ha! And and my security pass is finally granting me access to my office. FINALLY~ don't have to wait outside the door and wait for some one to open it for me cause i always run out to take a short walk around the hanger. Breathe some air. I keep falling asleep at work. Stare at the computer screen, the stupid irritating unsolvable drawings and books.. i just can't help but keep nodding off. I'm under training and it kind of sucks cause i have to learn those AUTOCAD stuff again and the bad thing is I KEEP THINKING THEY ARE THE SAME PROGRAM but THEY ARE ACTUALLY NOT. I'm learning how to use CATIA (Ka Tia~) now. Honestly autocad is so much easier to use but i heard even poly's are changing to teaching their students CATIA now. Oh well. It bad cause i'm cracking my brains on how to use it especially like today, i spend one whole afternoon on one single chapter because i couldn't get the right diagram to appear. I followed every step but its still not working. I asked madm wong and she tried, another senior guy tried, STILL NOT WORKING!.. ARGH~

Hmm so far the job is pretty good, i eat at 3 when the canteen have not a single soul.. Nobody cares how fast or slow i'm doing my own stuff. I have my own big table, my own cubicle. My own private line is not here yet. I still might change seats. Who knows.. So far the job is quite alright. I'm quite fine with it.. just that i have to keep waking up very early.. and the long hours of travelling. I'm just taking it like any other job, just go to it like how i go to secondary school. Just be there mark attendance. Nothing much.. Boring life. Boring place..

I can't stand it. Why is every one saying, "why are you asking me out? I thought you have alot of friends?" The thing is.. I don't have alot of friends.. I really can't stand it anymore. If i have alot of friends, then i wouldn't be asking you right? So stop fucking rubbing it in alright? :)

And i certainly hope Jasmine isn't seriously. Cause if she is, I'm losing yet another friend. Some friends are like that, you stop finding them anymore and thats the end of it, they don't bother to find you, they don't bother if your missing, they don't even care to ask if your alright, they thought you are, yeah yeah.. all the "I THOUGHT.. I THOUGHT.." starts coming out. Well i THOUGHT since there's nothing to say anymore, lets just not say anything at all. Good right? Yes I'm losing more friends that way. So if you are really my friend and you really understand what i am going through, be a nice friend and ask. Stop 'thought'-ing. Its of no use. If you really treasure the friendship, put some effort. I've put enough and i've given up. For some, i haven't give up yet because i keep telling myself its worth the keep. I keep thinking one day it would be better. Everybody would be like before, hang out.. chill, have fun and talk shit.. I'm still trying. And the every fact that i'm trying, I keep feeling like i'm forcing myself on them and it gets very tiring. If you know its you i'm refering to, help me out please. Miss tan, yes your one of them.. Do some soul searching la people.. Just think how nice lucas is to all of you and just how are you treating him. Touch your heart for once. Have you ever did the same back to him? Alright maybe even spare him some time that he spared for you? Think about him and text him not to ask him for something but plainly for the fun of it?? Have you ever done any of this? Or just HOW long haven't you done anything like that?..

I'm a easy guy. I'm not asking for alot and i get touched very easily.. but people around me are just NOT doing do it. They just don't understand. I keep telling myself, one shall never be nice cause it never pays. Just like love, comes with hurt - like a herd of sheep with a black wolf hidden among it. - A rose with thorns unplucked. But you know the stubborn me, i keep trying and keep trying. but.. just what for?

I still have last saturday to blog about but.. nah. forget it. No mood already. I'll just post the photos in advance.

Mid Autumn Festival just nice falls together with my grandma's birthday so we were out to celebrate for her. I was in charge of the cake.. Went IMM's Secret Recipe and got them this Chocolate Walnut cake. 1.7kg @ $45. Everybody liked it..

We had crabs and other stuff at LONG BEACH (East Coast).












The cake.


My youngest uncle's pretty wife.


And we hang around east coast park for awhile. Let the grands have some quality time with the grand children. It feels nice i guess.. all out together. When your 67yrs of age and u see your grand children all grown up. The years you've walked.. The shit years you survived. I guess its pretty fulfilling? I always ask myself, would i have cried if my mum is gone, would i? If my grands are gone.. Hmm.. I'm pretty much tearing right now at the thought that i'm alone. I always feel that i'm alone and i guess its worse then i'm really alone as in really really when everybody is gone and not coming back anymore and they WOULDN'T come back anymore. Well.. Life. Like i always say.. ITS A LIVING HELL. And hence this blog. My-livinghell

Signing off. My thoughts before i sleep. For another shit day at work. :) Cheerios people.

Whoever is reading this. Whoever cared. :) Love you lots lots. Thanks.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008